• Language:

  • Language:

  • Articles

    Categories

  • LaNuovaRiforma

    Welcome to our website. Peace and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be your abundance and God bless you greatly. We wish to introduce.

    Read More
  • The Role of Man and the Responsibilities of a Husband

    Let us examine together the responsibilities that a husband has toward his wife. We had said that with more authority the level of responsibilities increases. In seeing the passage in Ephesians 5 that we have been examining we see this to be true.

    Ephesians 5:25-33 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

    1) First Responsibility of the Husband – This first responsibility is the embodiment of all the others.

    Love the Wife as Christ loved the Church

    This is the first and foremost responsibility of the husband toward his wife. The husband is called by God to love his wife, to love his wife with the utmost sacrifice. As it is difficult for the woman to submit to her husband, this because of the sinful nature still present, so it is difficult for the husband to love the wife as Christ loved the church, with the complete sacrifice of himself. These, however, are things God commands to do knowing the truth of which is explained for example in

    Galatians 5:15-17 But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another! 16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. See also ROMANS 7:15-25.

    Christ instead has humbled Himself and with a great sacrifice offered Himself for the church without holding anything back, he did it for the love of us. So in the same way husbands are to love their wives, submitting to God and His Spirit as did Christ, so we have to walk in the Spirit.

    Galatians 5:22-25 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

    Philippians 2:1-8 Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

    Although these passages are general passages directed to all believers, how much more are these directed to husbands in the demonstration of his love toward his wife. So then a husband must have a spirit of love such as reflects the sacrificial love of Christ as it is described in God’s word, not seeking his own interests, esteeming the wife better than himself. This passage also explains the humility with which we husbands must love our wives, having the same lowliness of mind and humility and obedience that Christ had, knowing that even as Christ has authority over the church, the husband has authority over the wife and that she has to submit to him, however even in spite of all this, the husband as Jesus did, must humble himself before God and crucify the flesh with its passions and desires, crucifying every possible desire of arrogance and pride and becoming obedient to the sacrifice of Agape, the sacrificial love of Christ LUKE 22:42;HEBREWS 5:7-8 which is also described in

    1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.

    Knowing then the quality of the love husbands must have for their wives, the Bible gives indications to husbands how to treat their wives.

    Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

    1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

    This brings us to continue to see the role of responsibility that the husband has is primarily based upon love and demonstrable as love when these responsibilities are fulfilled. The Agape love that God wants us to demonstrate is always practical and never only in word, the practical demonstration of Agape will prove love for the person and for God 1 JOHN 3:16-18. So the next responsibilities we will study are, have to be based in love. For love we will sacrifice for our wives in such a way to do all to help them in all aspects of their person and life, both physical and spiritual.

    2) Second Responsibility of the Husband

    Teach the Word of God to the Wife

    Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

    The husband’s responsibility toward his wife is comparable with what Christ did and does for the church, to love the wife with sacrifice, care and understanding, however part of this great love is to love her soul, the spiritual inner woman, that is what is important to God 1 PETER 3:3-4, in such a way to help her become the woman of God that Christ wants her to be, even as He wants the church to be.

    This sanctification process is done through the washing of the word of God, as is written in verse 26. This is Biblical teaching to cooperate with the Holy Spirit in the wife’s sanctification process so as to be presented to Christ as Christ also desires to present His church to the Father. So it is evident that one of the primary responsibilities of the husband toward the wife is to teach sound doctrine, the word of God to the wife, as we had seen previously that was a responsibility that God gave to Adam GENESIS 2:15-16;GENESIS 3:2-3 and remains a very important responsibility a husband has toward his wife 1 CORINTHIANS 14:35.

    This needs to be the prayer of a husband for his wife and the goal that he would want to have for her, her sanctification. These responsibilities consequently demand that the husbands be able and expert in the knowledge of the word of God. As we had already said the husband has to be the pastor and teacher in the family and he must then attain himself to the pastoral instructions found in the Bible which God, yes, gives to pastors but also to all believers, such as

    2 Timothy 2:15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

    This does not at all exonerate the wife of her personal responsibility to seek to become herself expert in the comprehension of the word of God, remembering of her position and role of submission in the family and the church. The teaching has to be primarily the responsibility of the husband, Paul with his Apostolic authority commands that this is the attitude that needs to be exercised in the church.

    1 Corinthians 14:33-37 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. 34 Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. 35 And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church. 36 Or did the word of God come originally from you? Or was it you only that it reached? 37 If anyone thinks himself to be a prophet or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things which I write to you are the commandments of the Lord.

    It is important to establish what Verse 35 is saying, that the responsibility to teach the wife is of the husband.

    (This passage is exposed in greater detail in the section The Role of the Woman and the Responsibility of the Wife).

    This together with all the other commandments in 1 Corinthians 14 as in all the word of God are, in fact, valid in all the churches of the saints (Verse 33) and are binding commandments of God not of man (Verses 34 and 37). This passage eliminates entirely the philosophy that these ordinances are cultural and they are not valid today in the church.

    It is enormously important also to understand that under NO circumstance, NEVER, a wife must assume the role of biblical teacher or try to teach doctrine to a husband, even if for some reason she is more knowledgeable in the word of God than the husband. The wife’s role is to encourage the husband and to pray for him that he might better his knowledge of God’s word. It is the husband’s personal spiritual responsibility become prepared and knowledgeable in the word of God, so much so to become the teacher in his household. It is the responsibility of the church to make disciples, therefore to counsel and train the husbands to become the pastors and teachers in their families. Too many problems of spiritual role and authority in the family contribute to too many doctrinal errors, confusion and rebellion when the wife assumes the role of teacher and teaches the word of God to the husband. In addition, most of the time the roles remain in that order and never change in the order they should be. When the wife becomes the teacher of the husband the husband almost always remains passive, never assumes the role of responsibility and authority and abdicates it to the wife, this normally invites a spirit of rebellion to God’s order and manipulation known as the spirit of Jezebel. Very dangerous thing to have in the family and even more dangerous and destructive when it rules in the church REVELATION 2:20.

    The teaching of the truth of the word of God has to be done with the love of God, love that is not only a feeling or an emotion but love that is abounding of discernment and knowledge PHILIPPIANS 1:9-11, in love for those toward whom we exercise it, in this case the wife.

    Ephesians 4:11-16 And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13 till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head–Christ– 16 from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

    We see that the context of this passage speaks of ministries and offices in the church. However, we have established previously in this study that the husband and father in the family has the same authority duties and responsibilities in the family of those who govern the church.

    So because of the authority of the husband established by God and the consequent responsibilities and duties the husband and father has to do the same things in the family as pastors and teachers do in the church, that being, teach, take care, protect all the more spiritually for the equipping of the family, for the edifying of the body of Christ in the family, until they all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; so that they should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, and speaking the truth in love they, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head, Christ. This the husband has to do being trained himself by the teaching of the various ministers in the church that we spoke about. These things therefore are the symbiosis between the church and the family.

    The husband, in line with what we read in EPHESIANS 5:26-27,, has to desire with the same zeal and desire for his wife what also Paul said regarding the church and himself,

    2 Corinthians 11:2-3 For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. 3 But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ

    This is the true and right kind of jealousy a husband must have for his wife, the same as God has for His church.

    3) Third Responsibility of the Husband

    The Husband must Protect and be Caretaker of the Wife

    Ephesians 5:28-29 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

    Once again the supreme example is Christ and how He nourishes and cherishes the church. In the same way a husband needs to love his wife. These responsibilities expressed in love as well as the previous one mentioned, to teach the wife, are the same as God gave to Adam in his role. Adam was created as one who would be provider, caretaker, protector and teacher, and these are still the innate responsibilities the husband has toward his wife and his children as well.

    Genesis 2:15 Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.

    Let’s take a look at these two words used here in the Hebrew, tend is the word lª`aabdaah the root of this word is ‘abad which means literally to serve, to be servant of. The word used for keep is the word uwlshaamªraah the root of this word is shamar which literally means to hedge about (as with thorns), guard; generally, to protect, attend to, etc.

    1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

    The woman is the weaker vessel and has to be protected spiritually as well as physically. Wives are worthy of honor being heirs together with the husbands of the grace of life, because after all they are an integral part of man and they complete the husband, as she originally comes from man’s own flesh and is a very part of him GENESIS 2:18-24 for this reason it is written in

    Ephesians 5:28-32 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

    The wife or the woman is not in herself spiritually weaker than the husband or the man, it is however evident that she has tendencies of weakness, both physical and spiritual. This is evidenced by the fact that the devil has chosen the woman to be deceived and not Adam. There are specific reasons why it happened that way and it is why the husband needs to protect her so that the woman is not deceived and seduced by temptations and spiritual falsities. Women are more prone to fall in these seductions and temptations it is also for this that the woman cannot retain positions of principal authority and government in the church and in the family, as a rule they cannot be the principal governing authority.

    See 1 Timothy 2:12-14 And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.

    For two reasons, the order of creation verse 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. and the given role and authority decreed by God and because she is the easier prey of temptations verse 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.

    The woman then demonstrates the tendency and the more easier subject of some kinds of the devil’s temptations and deceptions. It was evident that the devil knew that Eve would be the easier prey and it’s for this reason he tempted her and not Adam. To reach Adam he had to do it through Eve. The seductive arguments of Satan would have probably been ineffective to seduce Adam in a direct way as he did with Eve. This indicates that the man generally speaking as far as certain types of temptations are concerned has a spiritual discernment and strength that gives him and advantage on the woman for it is evident that certain types of temptations have a greater impression upon the woman than the man.

    There are several things we must realize in Eve’s temptation that are the key to understand why Satan chose to tempt her instead of Adam. First of all as we read in 1 Peter 3:7 the woman is both physically and emotionally the weaker vessel. In this sensitivity and weakness she must be protected by the husband. She is also seemingly more prone to doubt, and Satan played the doubt card with her, making her question what God had said, creating confusion in her mind as to what God really said. This is why also the woman when it comes to learning of God’s word must be taught and directed again by the husband. This is why Paul said that the responsibilities of the woman is to learn in silence and submission and the task of teaching is given to the husband or man. 1 TIMOTHY 2:12-14;1 CORINTHIANS 14:33-35. The woman needs to be protected from doubt and doctrinal confusion as well, when the woman slips out from under the spiritual and emotional protection of her male companion, Satan has the upper hand. The third part of why the temptation was directed to her, although not exclusively only used upon her or women, are the three seductive desires Satan uses always to tempt.

    Genesis 3:6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.

    His seductive arguments of the devil together with the appearance of the fruit, the pleasure it emanated specially colored by the lies of the enemy and the desire to have the same knowledge God has are the things Eve fell for. The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life are the portals through which temptation enters and it is with these three with which the devil attacked and seduced Eve. The fruit was good for food (the appetite or lust of the flesh), it was pleasant to the eyes (the lust of the eyes), it was desirable to make one wise, the desire of power or the pride of life). These are what John calls the things of this world 1 JOHN 2:15-16 and are by consequence the things which have the tendency to attract the woman as Paul says in

    1 Corinthians 7:34-35 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world–how she may please her husband.

    This is seen even in some of the superficially trivial things, but it is for this reason that the word of God warns us as possible obstacles that can cause temptations and then sin and where women are more vulnerable. A passage that confirms woman’s weakness in spiritual matters is also found in

    2 Timothy 3:6-7 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

    The vanity of the things of the world and their tendency to be seduced trough the senses make the women more susceptible to fall into temptation and to be more carnal in many ways.

    1 Timothy 5:13-14 And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not. 14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

    Things to watch out for everyone, however, in a special way women, are things of vain nature, the pride of life, the vain thing the world can offer, the love for innovations and the susceptibility to flattery. Also fort these reasons the Scripture teaches the women to avoid these things in their life and we will see these when we tackle the study of the wife’s responsibilities.

    This does not negate that the same portals are used to tempt man, man however is tempted by these in relation to the woman and his relationship to her, by consequence regarding everything she desires, in other words the things of the world. To want to please the wife or that which the wife wants, it is in this way that the woman tempts the man. This is in line with the method with which Adam was tempted. Adam was not tempted directly by the devil, Eve was, but Adam listened to her words instead of the words of God.

    Genesis 3:17 Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:

    This can be and usually is the main portal for man’s temptation, to be pleasing to the woman and pleasing the woman and providing for her pleasures and wants. This usually causes disobedience and leads to compromise the word of God.

    This is why Paul writes a whole passage in regard to this subject in 1 Corinthians 7. One part we have already read in regard to the wife, but Paul makes the point regarding the man also.

    1 Corinthians 7:32-33 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord–how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world–how he may please his wife.

    Paul right before addressing the husband and wife in this passage says some very interesting things, things many have misinterpreted and do not understand.

    1 Corinthians 7:29-31 But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, 30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, 31 and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.

    However, in short Paul is saying not to be hung up with the lifestyle of the world and what the world offers, rather to serve God as if we were not in any of the worldly situations we find ourselves. In other words, to be concentrated, all believers, not on pleasing and living for the senses and the flesh and the vanity of the world, rather to please and serve God. Paul is not at all saying to ignore or pretend not to be married, rather as he explains it some verses later, those who are married have the tendency to want to please each other and to compromise and forget the things of God. That’s why Paul says to those who have wives or husbands for that matter, to be as though they had none, to act as they were single in regard to serving God, to do the will of God and not of the spouse, to concentrate on pleasing God and not exclusively the spouse in the matters of the flesh and the world.

    In fact, see what happened to Samson for the desire he had for women, to want to please the woman, and to be pleasing to the woman as well as getting pleasure from women, these things destroyed him, physically and spiritually. All this because he preferred to please women and himself rather than God and to take pleasure in serving Him rather than his flesh JUDGES 14:1-3 and JUDGES 16:1-21. This is the greatest temptation of man.

    So the norm is, there are exceptions, however, the believing man and husband who is committed in his sanctification and who takes seriously and obediently God’s word, will result stronger than the wife and the woman in fighting against spiritual falsity, error, deceptions and temptations of the devil, especially in the field of doctrine. A believing husband that is not spiritually mature often will compromise and will succumb to the temptations of a spiritually weak and immature wife. In fact did you notice that many cults and sects have been born out of biblical doctrinal errors taught by women? Look at a few main stream religions which have been generated by woman’s doctrinal errors. Mary Baker Eddy founded the Church of Christ Scientist, Ellen G. White’s false doctrines and prophecies are at the core of Seventh Day Adventist doctrine, her writings have become equivalent to Scripture to them. The Shaker Movement given birth by the false teachings of Mother Ann Lee. Aimee Semple Mc Pherson and Kathrin Khulman both founders of ministries and churches but proven false prophetesses by biblical doctrinal standards.

    Without considering the countless ministries headed by women today which teach false doctrines galore even heresies but are accepted and called Evangelical. In fact, most churches and ministries headed by women unfortunately do not teach sound and true NT Apostolic doctrine. This proves the tendency of women to fall more easily in doctrinal error, from these dangers our wives need to be protected.

    Finally the wife’s protection on part of the husband has to be not only of a spiritual nature but also of physical and emotional nature.

    The responsibility of the husband is to literally physically offer his own life if necessary to defend and protect the wife. This can manifest itself in several ways. It can be a physical sacrifice or a spiritual or emotional one but this is a primary responsibility of the husband.

    Even as Peter says in 1 Peter 3: 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

    The understanding and the patience required for their state of weakness and the given responsibility to honor them in everything, this is part of the emotional protection of the woman on part of the husband. This so they feel secure, less fearful and so that they feel appreciated and loved, offering them in this manner the emotional protection they often need. It is not that the security and the emotional strength is exclusively dependent on the husband, it has to be for the most part obtained by the relationship with God first of all. The emotional security and strength has to be grounded in Christ, but even this is something the husband needs to build up in the life of the wife as even he be careful not to be lacking in this security and strength so that he can offer himself to help his wife to access this emotional protection.

    Carefully note that usually the woman is more disposed than the man to become fearful, depressed and discouraged, for example. This should not at all be the cause of harshness or insensitivity on part of the man, because the natural tendency of the man is to belittle and lessen the wife’s emotions to such a degree that they become ignored. The husband ought not have a harsh demeanor and not to lack the proper comprehension that is due the wife as Scripture says, because of her emotions.

    The proper behavior of the husband would be to first of all with loving comfort assure the wife his comprehension of her emotions, being fear, discernment or whatever they may be. Then to help her through prayer and the instruction of the word of God find the remedy that God has in regard to the very problem or situation. Unfortunately, this is a responsibility I personally fail in many times.

    As it is the responsibility of the husband to teach the word of God to the wife, it is furthermore a responsibility to protect her from the dangers of false doctrines. We had seen this aspect previously and we had seen what was the function of the husband in line with

    Ephesians 4:14-15 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head–Christ–

    These were the responsibilities which Adam failed to fulfill in regard to Eve, the temptations of the devil to accept error as far as to what God says will continuously be addressed to the woman, knowing that through her deception he can reach the husband and the family and the church as well.

    However we, as Scripture says, are not ignorant, should not be ignorant about his deceptions 2 CORINTHIANS 2:11. We know and had the opportunity in our study to see that his deceptions and his ways in reality never really change. He is good at changing the way they are presented and perhaps changing the lies surrounding them, but as we look beyond the presentation, we will find that the temptations and his lies are always the same, lies and deceptions.

    2 Corinthians 11:3 But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.

    So it is obvious and evident that one of the greatest responsibilities of the husband is to have the firm knowledge of the word of God so to teach the wife and the members of his family and so protect them from the falsity and deceptions of the devil.

    4) The Fourth Responsibility of the Husband

    To Provide not Only Spiritually but also Economically for the Wife and Family

    1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

    We have seen that this principle is an all encompassing one, that it does not only speak to the economic and physical provision but also and most importantly for the spiritual provision of the family. Here, however, we will speak about the economic and physical aspect of this provision but we will see how it is connected inseparably to the spiritual aspect of it.

    With few exceptions, which are not the norm, one of the primary responsibilities of the husband is to provide for the economic and physical needs of the wife and the family.

    At thus point I would like to make two premises:

    The first one is that the head of the family is a person who is faithful to the LORD and that seeks first His kingdom and righteousness and that is not fixated with seeking money and riches, rather the true provision of the family. The Lord wants that we provide for the needs of the wife and family, not the wants or the luxuries or things without which we can easily live. His commandment is to provide for a life of dignity and for the things needed for daily living. Things He Himself has promised to provide for us if we are faithful and obedient to Him. He will help, in fact, He will give us the provisions for our needs and the needs of our families.

    Matthew 6:31-33 Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 “For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

    This principle does not mean do not go to work, or if you do not have work do not look for it. No, this means, exactly what it says, do not be worried, anxious about how to get these things you need, God knows we need determined things to live, and He will be the one who will add them to us IF we place the priorities on the things of God and live in His righteous ways. Now, seeking first the kingdom of God means to place the things that are important to God as the first priority. I will go even further and say to seek first His kingdom is to live entirely for it and not at all the things of this world. Are we doing it? If we have to work so hard to obtain very little it means that we are not seeking first God’s kingdom or perhaps we are not living righteously before God HAGGAI 1:2-11.

    Psalms 127: 1-2 Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain. 2 It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.

    The second premise is connected to the promise of Matthew 6:33, it is the LORD who has to be the builder of our house, it will be He who will allow us to exert less fatigue and pain and He who will allow us to reap more from our labor when we are faithful and obedient to Him and to the responsibilities He has given us to carry out. It is for this reason that many believers struggle so much to take home the minimum indispensable. Instead of letting God build their house they work harder than they should using their strength only. God promises to provide for us while we sleep IF we are faithful and obedient to Him. This is what it means to let the LORD build our house. He WILL build it only IF we are faithful and obedient and seek first His kingdom. So I am not saying that one should not work hard or diligently or stay home without doing anything at all waiting on God to provide. No, we are not talking about this, this would be wrong. However, the believer has to place his priorities upon the things of God and what is important to Him, seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness in Christ. Here is an example, if we work, work, work to provide for our family but we neglect the spiritual education of our family, we are not being faithful to God, it is in vain then that a believer work so hard to provide when the more important things to God are being neglected. Many think that work is more important than the spiritual education of the family or even more important to their own spiritual growth. Unfortunately this is true also of full time ministers, who neglect their family to take care of the church or others. This, however, is not what God desires. In fact, doing this we are not faithful to God at all 1 TIMOTHY 3:4-5; 1 TIMOTHY 5:8;; therefore, God will not bless our labor and will not be the one who builds our house. This then is really the explanation of Psalms 127:1-2. In fact, if we neglect to seek first the kingdom of God in and for our families we are worse than infidels and have denied the faith.

    Luke 16:10-13 He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. 11 Therefore if you have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? 12 And if you have not been faithful in what is another man’s, who will give you what is your own? 13 No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

    Here there are two very important lessons the Lord is teaching us and they are fundamental to learn to provide for wife and family.

    The first lesson the Lord is giving us is first of all our utmost faithfulness in all He entrusts us with, If we learn to be faithful in small things He will then give us more, and He is speaking of money here, although we can apply the principle to all things. In fact, He connects our faithfulness in the handling of financial issues with the faithfulness of spiritual issues, verse 11. The spirit of discipline and faithfulness are needed for material riches as well if not more for spiritual riches. If we are not able to manage well the things with which the Lord already has entrusted us, He certainly will not give us more important things to manage, in fact we will have less. This being true in material, financial issues, even more in spiritual ones.

    This first teaching brings us into the second one the Lord gives us. When we spend our earnings in things that do not matter to God and often when believers try so hard to accumulate material riches and things of this world, inevitably they will look for methods to increase their earnings to have more. Chasing riches has consequences, however. This will cause people to work more while having less time to do the things that are really important to God.

    It is for this reason that Jesus warns us, we cannot serve God and money. God knows that when He is holding back material blessings it’s because He cannot entrust them because there is somewhere a lack of faithfulness. This is usually confirmed when we run after riches and money, not exclusively to provide for the family but so to spend them on our carnal desires. The Lord then warns us that we are in a very dangerous situation and we are in danger of falling into a sinful situation, this situation has very dangerous consequences to our spiritual life and that of our family. A man, or woman, who runs after riches is always taken over by the time and the effort it takes to pursue them. This opens the door to many sins, it opens the door first of all to idolatry even as Jesus said this in LUKE 16:13 the passage we are observing, as money and riches, status and position become our gods, this leads to spiritual negligence and it leads to the neglect of the family, it opens the door to covetousness and often leads to moral compromises and even immoral behavior

    Jude 11 Woe to them! For they have gone in the way of Cain, have run greedily in the error of Balaam for profit, and perished in the rebellion of Korah.

    Revelation 2:14 But I have a few things against you, because you have there those who hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balak to put a stumbling block before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols, and to commit sexual immorality.

    Yes, the doctrine of Balaam is the pursuit of riches to the point of cursing all and everybody around you, to make people compromise their spiritual life pursuing riches; and this, as this passage says, leads to idolatry and eventually immorality.

    The fact a husband, and often even the wife, are missing from the family because they are pursuing riches brings irreparable damage upon the family. This steals all the time necessary to serve God and therefore riches and money become god, the lord, that is why as Jesus said we cannot serve God and Mammon.

    What else does Scripture say about this desiring material riches and pursuing them as well as what it says about the dangers associated to this?

    1 Timothy 6:6-11 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 11 But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.

    1 Timothy 3:3 not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous;

    In fact, this passage explains the prerequisites of a pastor, elder, in other words one who holds the office and ministry of church government and so as we have seen the head of household is called to have the same.

    God does not condemn the rich or those who have worldly goods, let’s understand that many times these things are so by the will of God and if and when people become more worthy of His trust as we learned before. God will entrust more to those who will be found trustworthy in little and in the little things of life. There are commandments and principles even for the rich and wealthy believers that are however good for all to practice.

    1 Timothy 6:17-19 Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy. 18 Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, 19 storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.

    In other words those who have more give more for the kingdom of God. Be careful no to misunderstand this passage as many use a part of it making it a key verse for the Gospel of prosperity, the part that says, that it is God who gives us richly all things to enjoy. This fact is true, but it is also true that no one should pursue riches because to pursue riches is a snare and a trap of the devil, it’s a mortal trap for the spiritual life.

    In the family there are many things that can be done without and still live a good and dignified life. Today many useless things exist, that is why there are still so any ways to save and not to spend money on things not needed. To desire and pursue surplus and the useless things when in reality there is not enough money to have it, trying at all costs to have it should not be a practice of believers, this behavior does not fit in the category of providing for the family. Providing is the necessary not the luxuries and the surplus that people are deceived, even believers, into thinking it is necessity.

    It is also for these reasons that husbands and fathers today are absent from the family and the reasons why many families are destroyed.

    The desire and pursuit of wanting more leads to never have enough and it steals the time and the energy needed to raise and manage a family in the way God desires.

    As Jesus taught us, we cannot serve two masters so that money and riches become idolatry. Both adults and children do not need all the world says they need.

    There is also another behavior that is tyranny and deception, to want our children to have all that we did not have and to give them all they desire. It’s an illusion to think that we must sacrifice for our children to give them what they want.

    Let me ask you a question, does God give us everything we desire?

    Christ’s sacrifice was not made to give us all that we carnally desire to have, like many false teachers unfortunately teach today. No, God wants to give us what we desperately need. It will be good that we start renewing our minds and develop the thoughts of God and that we change our ways, let’s start being with our family the way God is with us. Let’s stop thinking and behaving as the world wants us to think and behave.

    If we spend all our time working not for the true and exclusive needs but for that which the world offers and the very things of which we are not in need, it will end up that we will lose our family, this has already happened in the world and it is happening at an alarming pace even in the church.

    We have previously seen how the world behaves, the world and its philosophies are destroying the family; or I should say have destroyed it, and now it is happening in the church. Husbands and fathers are absent and unfortunately all the more even wives and mothers.

    The word of God exhorts us

    Hebrews 13:5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

    Once more is worth reading again the passage we have read before, that warns us what it means to provide and what it does not mean and how a believer should behave about this issue

    1 Timothy 6:6-11 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 11 But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.