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    Welcome to our website. Peace and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be your abundance and God bless you greatly. We wish to introduce.

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  • The Role of the Woman and the Responsibilities of the Wife

    After having examined the role of man and husband, now we will study the role and responsibilities of the wife. After we will study the responsibilities they have toward the children and the children toward the parents.

    The role of the wife in the family is very important and in no way to be considered secondary to that of the husband. In the family and in the church, the role and responsibilities of the women and wife are of fundamental importance. However, the roles and responsibilities are not all the same of the man and husband.

    Up to now we have established as far as we have studied, that man has a determined role and authority as well as responsibilities, in the family and the church, so does the woman.

    It’s a good time to recap what we have learned so far, and when it is necessary we will look at some details.

    The wife is called by God to be submissive to her husband as the church is to Christ EPHESIANS 5:22-33;1 PETER 3:7. A comment here is necessary, if the wife does not submit to the husband it means that she is not submitted to Christ, the rebellion therefore is not only against her husband but it is against God. We have established also why the woman is called to submit to the husband, it is not a matter of superiority of the sexes but a question of role and channel of authority established and confirmed, not by man, rather by God and His word. This role is declared for the following reasons:

    1) God has designed this in the order of creation GENESIS 2:15-24;GENESIS 3:16; 1 CORINTHIANS 11:8-91 TIMOTHY 2:1 3


    2)
    Because of the Order of Creation Man is the Head of the Woman

    Because man is the head of the woman by divine decree and woman is created as a suitable helper and man’s companion, equal as far as human dignity and salvation and blessing, not equal in role and authority.

    1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

    1 Corinthians 11:8-9 For man is not from woman, but woman from man. 9 Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.

    3) Woman, Wife Cannot Hold Positions of Authority Over Man

    Woman, wife cannot teach in the church nor hold any office of church government such as pastor, elder or teacher. The why has already been explained and will be explained again so to take away any doubt about this subject according to the word of God.

    1 Timothy 2:11-14 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. 12 And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.

    We had previously mentioned that the woman has some spiritual weaknesses that disqualify them to retain roles of spiritual authority over man. So because of these weaknesses the man, the husband is called to protect her not only in her physical weaknesses but also to protect her against the deceptions of the devil and in regard to certain temptations. Because of these the woman is commanded by God to have a certain behavior and to retain the role He has assigned to her.

    There are only two Scriptural cases in which the woman has a position of authority in the family and in the church and only in these two cases the Scripture allows them to exercise a type of teaching ministry.

    1) Secondary authority on her children, the primary is the father’s, her authority is primary only if, obviously, she is a single mother and the husband is not present. However, in light of this see exception clauses in Scripture, in other words except for separation between believers 1 CORINTHIANS 7:10-11,, she is called to marry, to have a head and be covered spiritually by the husband 1 TIMOTHY 5:14-15 .

    2) The older women of the church have a measure of authority on the young and they can. In fact, they are commanded to teach the young in accord with the word of God certain things,

    Titus 2:3-5 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things– 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

    We have already determined and studied that the primary responsibility of the wife is to be submitted and obedient to the husband when she is not asked by him to violate the word of God.

    This submission originates in a behavior that is required by God, behavior, conduct that the wife has to display in the family and the church. The word of God explains what this conduct is and why it has to be displayed. It is a conduct commanded by God and that is connected with many of the other responsibilities of the woman-wife.

    The conduct of the wife or woman has to be such to reflect the spiritual qualities of goodness and gentleness that are called by God, essential for the Christian woman. For this reason the contentious wife or woman lives in rebellion to God, because the contentious woman does not behave as it is commanded in the Scripture and she is not submitted to God not just the husband. This is what Peter explains in

    1 Peter 3:1-7 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel– 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

    We see here what is very precious in the sight of God, that the wife and woman be adorned with an incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. If the wife and woman is not adorned with this spirit, rather she is contentious, she possesses a rebellious spirit that has no value at all for God. This brings us to the very end of this passage as it says, that your prayers may not be hindered”. This last part, I believe, is often taught wrongly as many connect it only to the husband because they are the last subjects mentioned. but as we follow the grammar of the passage and what the whole of Scripture teaches we see that this last part is not exclusively connected to the husbands. In this passage we find specific words that are conjunction words, they unify the different subjects making them one subject. The word is likewise, it unites the husband and the wife in the passage, also remember that husband and wife, as Church and Christ, are one anyway. The word likewise then unites the commandments of this passage to both parties. It warns both that if they do not obey this apostolic doctrine, both the wife’s and the husband’s prayers will be hindered.

    As the rest of the word of God confirms, what is said in 1 Peter 3:7 is a universal principle taught by Scripture that is applied to every person. So that if the husband does not obey his responsibilities toward his wife, his prayers will be hindered because he will be in transgression of God’s word, and if a wife does not fulfill her responsibilities commanded by the word of God, even she will be in transgression to the word of God and her prayers also will be hindered.

    Clearly Scripture confirms this fact.

    Psalms 66:18 If I regard iniquity in my heart, The Lord will not hear.

    Proverbs 28:9 One who turns away his ear from hearing the law, Even his prayer is an abomination.

    Clearly in Scripture our behavior has to be submission to God and His word. The woman’s conduct in this case has to be such, submission to her husband is not mere submission to a man but to Christ.

    Contention on the woman’s part in every single case is a sign of spiritual immaturity and rebellion to God. How serious is disobedience to God’s word and stubbornness ?

    1 Samuel 15:23a For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.

    Let us examine the conduct and behavior of the woman, the right one and the wrong one in this case.

    The wife, woman is commanded by the word of God to have a conduct and behavior that honors God and her husband, even because a certain conduct helps her be submissive, gentle and not contentious. This protects her from the temptations to which she is more prone.

    Let’s examine the conduct of the wife in the church and in her own life.

    1 Corinthians 11:1-16 Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ. 2 Now I praise you, brethren, that you remember me in all things and keep the traditions just as I delivered them to you. 3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head. 5 But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, for that is one and the same as if her head were shaved. 6 For if a woman is not covered, let her also be shorn. But if it is shameful for a woman to be shorn or shaved, let her be covered. 7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man is not from woman, but woman from man. 9 Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man. 10 For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. 11 Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. 12 For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God. 13 Judge among yourselves. Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him? 15 But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering. 16 But if anyone seems to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor do the churches of God.

    This is a commandment given by Paul by apostolic authority, toward the conduct of the woman in the church and regarding the symbol that the woman has to wear to demonstrate her disposition of submission to the Lord, the husband and the church, this symbol is the veil.

    This passage is important to study because it teaches us many truths regarding the roles of man and woman and also it is a passage that is like the other ones that involve the commandments of how a woman must behave in the church that have been reduced today by many as to being cultural issues rather than doctrinal issues, applicable only to a time and a place instead of retaining their universality and that in reality they are unchanged by time. Once again this is erroneous doctrine, because God’s word and doctrine does not adapt itself to the changes in culture and society. The church must adapt to the Bible not the Bible and church to society and culture. The word of God supersedes all culture and society. It would be as to say, as many are however trying to do today, that the church must change its stance against the sin of homosexuality because society tolerates it and accepts it, it’s the same wrong concept. The word of God is unchangeable by time and society.

    The symbol the veil represents is not optional and is not merely a cultural custom of that day that does not count today. We understand that it was instead a tradition which is in reality a commandment and that was observed in all the churches and it transcends time and societal and cultural changes.

    This passage begins with the very important exhortation that Paul directs, to follow him just as he follows Christ. He then praises them because they remembered all the traditions that Paul had given them and that they realized that the apostolic authority of Paul came from God. Verses 1-2

    It is evident that there was, however, a problem. Amongst the many problems that affected this church, there was another one, some people – women, who did not want to attain to certain rules during their meetings. That this was a problem we see it from how Paul begins verse 3. After having praised them he says But I want you to know, in this case this is an indication there is a problem that needs to be addressed, they did not know. As when at the beginning of 1 Corinthians 12 he says to them that he did not want them to be ignorant regarding spiritual gifts, this implies there was ignorance. So here he says to follow his ways as he follows Jesus, and that he is glad they recognize his instructions as coming from God, But I want you to know, the problem was the fact that some women in the assembly did not want to cover their head. Paul then has to explain the importance of this and this is understood from the text itself.

    He explains that the veil is a symbol the woman has to wear, not because their culture demanded such custom, rather it is a symbol in the church of the woman’s submission to the spiritual authorities beginning with God, then the husband. This is because every member of the church has to reflect the glory of their own head and not to shame their head. This order Paul explains

    verse 3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

    When the man or the woman do not respect the spiritual order established by God, this will manifest itself in wrong behavior verses 4-8 also in violation of nature itself, order that God established in creation, as Paul later says in verses 14-15 14 Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him? 15 But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering

    Therefore, there is with the wearing of the veil a respect for all the spiritual authorities that the woman is placed under and respect that generates from the natural creative order established by God. Let’s remember that in the spiritual order and in the natural order God has established the roles and positions of authority as also Paul recalls in verses 8-9 For man is not from woman, but woman from man. 9 Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.

    Also this is found in 1 Timothy 2:13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve.

    These are the real reasons of why the veil needs to be worn and why the woman cannot teach and exercise authority over a man. They are not at all cultural reasons, they originate from the creative order of God, they are placed in the natural order God has established, they transcend time and culture. In fact, we see this well explained in verse 10 For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.

    The woman therefore is commanded to wear a veil as a symbol or a sign that demonstrates publicly that she is under submission to the authorities God has placed her under. The lack of willingness or the rebellion against wearing a veil is a sign that that woman is contentious and does not want to submit to the authorities that God wants her to be under. If the woman would submit to God she would not make of this subject ground for contention rather she would accept it as an ordinance of God and humbly obey. We can safely say that the veil is considered a sign to prove if the woman has a spirit of submission or rebellion.

    The veil therefore is not a question of culture or custom, but is an outward sign of the interior spiritual condition of the woman. It is not a custom or tradition of the culture that does not count in the church today, rather it is a commandment and a symbol of the spiritual health of the woman. This is confirmed by other passages that teach us how the use of the veil indicates the behavior of submission of the woman and the importance of respecting this ordinance, it’s beyond culture.

    Genesis 24:64-65 Then Rebekah lifted her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from her camel; 65 for she had said to the servant, “Who is this man walking in the field to meet us?” And the servant said, “It is my master.” So she took a veil and covered herself.

    OK some will say now this is an OT custom now we are in the NT, true, but this is confirmed in the NT as well as in 1 Corinthians 11 also in

    1 Peter 3:4-5 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,

    In addition, culturally speaking, how can a Christian woman be rebellious to the word of God only to submit instead to today’s customs and culture? We have already seen in this study that in the society and culture in which we live there is an almost complete rebellion to the roles that God has established; so then, what should a Christian woman do today? Obey the culture? What determines the submission of a Christian woman, culture, society or the word of God? Can we annul the commandments and doctrines God has given the church because culture today is different? Who is the Lord, culture, society or God? The Bible clearly command us to be transformed by the renewing of our mind and not to be conformed to the ways of the world ROMANS 12:1-2. It is clear in Scripture that if a person is a friend of this world they are enemies of God.

    James 4:4 Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

    I do not believe that it has to be culture or society to dictate the behavior and conduct of the Christian. Why? Otherwise you cannot display your fashion repertoire of your wardrobe or your hairdo will get messed up if you wear a veil? Will it ruin the woman’s image? After all I believe it’s really like this today. We have to eliminate all the sections of the Bible that are no longer consistent with the culture in which we live. The church today is doing just this at all levels, they do it with feminism, with divorce, with homosexuality, with abortion, will it not be done then for the wearing of a simple veil?

    So, what did Paul mean when he said that a woman must wear a sign or symbol of authority on her head also because of the angels?

    The Bible teaches us that the angels are ministers to those who are inheriting salvation, in other words us believers.

    Hebrews 1:14 Are they not all ministering spirits sent forth to minister for those who will inherit salvation?

    The angels are present in the assemblies of believers I would say, since we are in the presence of God. The angels therefore, observe the conduct and the behavior and they detect any and every disrespectful sign within regarding the offering worship to God. Besides, the angels themselves worship God in His presence and they themselves respect the submission to God’s authority and the hierarchy in which they must operate. They also observe a covering that reflects their submission and humility to God.

    Isaiah 6:2 Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew.

    Therefore, we must understand the importance of Paul’s declaration in regard to angels, for it reveals that to wear the veil for the woman as a sign of submission to her spiritual authorities in the assembly is not at all dependent upon the culture in which one lives. The order established by God at creation, nature and the angels with their submission to God and in their own hierarchy do not depend at all on culture, therefore we cannot say that these principles regarding the veil were only valid in Paul’s times, these issues and principles we have seen transcend time and are universal therefore valid today.

    God has established a clear chain of authority in the family and in the church, ordering the men to have a primary position of authority and responsibilities. The church has to be respected and culture has absolutely no jurisdiction upon the roles that God has decreed for the church and the Christian family.

    Our culture has rejected these divine ideologies and the order established by God, having rejected the differences of the roles established by God for men and women, this guides a trend where in today’s culture men are becoming like women and women like men.

    Many think that recognizing the submission to the man and recognizing his authority is an unbearable burden and these say that it takes away the woman’s dignity, that is pushes her to be inferior and insignificant because she has to recognize the man as superior. This could not be any further from the truth. Even in the Trinity all three the persons of the Trinity are God and the relationship to each other for that reason is equality in regard to their divinity, but as far as their role of authority they are different and one is submitted to the other, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

    Those who teach the church has to conform to the culture and society in which we live, and therefore, it needs to adapt to do what is being done in the culture and society greatly err. They teach the church has to conform to other ideologies and philosophies instead of becoming conformed to the word and image of Christ. We cannot conform the word of God to culture and society, it is we who have to conform to the word of God. The church is, has to be, guided by the word of God, the biblical doctrines and traditions of the Apostles and the prophets, which doctrines they received directly from God.

    In conclusion,in verse 16 Paul anticipates the answers and the contentious behavior that some had then and have today regarding this rule. He does not only silence it with Apostolic authority, which would be sufficient, instead he declares that this contentious conduct was not at all any such custom amongst the Apostles and not even in the other churches. It was a custom in all the other churches that did observe and upon which they all were in accord, there was no contention in other churches. So that those who were not in agreement with the Apostolic traditions and doctrines were certainly considered contentious 2 THESSALONIANS 3:14, a principle that is valid for all epistles.

    Seeing that we have previously established that the conduct and attitude of the woman once again is to respect the order with which God has Himself established spiritual authority in the family and the church, we can continue to speak about the responsibilities of the woman- wife.

    We have seen from the text used to this point that in the assembly, in the church and consequentially in the family, it is permittedfor the women to pray and prophesy wearing the sign of their submission, in other words the veil. But I ask myself, why today are women so against and opposed to wearing a veil in church? Is it because it ruins their hair? No, I really do not think that is the reason, I believe it is the same exact problem that existed in Paul’s days, they want to do what they want, these have the feminist and rebellious spirit, even if the majority of the Christian women do not want to admit it. Their behavior and conduct generally is not as the word of God commands it to be.

    The problem at hand is not the cultural reasons, why the woman does not want to have her head covered in church. It is a rebellious and disobedient spirit to this Apostolic ordinance. So the passage we just reviewed is a passage that most Christian women try at all costs to interpret privately looking only for the explanations and interpretations that best suit their carnal and contentious desires and attitudes. What would be the big deal for them to wear a veil on their head to obey and to honor God and their head, who if it’s not their husband, it’s God? Obviously, it costs them a lot, they do not want to honor God nor do they care to demonstrate that they have a submissive spirit to the word of God. It is obvious that if they have this attitude they cannot be submissive to their husbands nor can they honor them, nor God. If they reject the symbol that is easier to obey than the commandment it represents, will they honor the commandment of which this veil is symbol.

    It’s like baptism, we know that baptism in water in itself does not give any special grace, it is a symbol, but it is a commandment of God that needs to be obeyed although it is symbolic, we do not dismiss the symbol because after all the Holy Spirit already did spiritually what we do symbolically. Why then is this symbol or sign of the veil any different? It’s not, and as baptism that is still be practiced today and is not to be considered a cultural event of that day, why should this one be? We have seen that this ordinance in reality has absolutely nothing to do with culture, but all to do with the order of creation, nature and God’s authority.

    The attitude and the conduct of the woman-wife is additionally described in the word of God in other passages we will examine together:

    1 Timothy 2:9-15 in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. 11 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. 12 And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 15 Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.

    Let’s begin with 1 Timothy 2:9-10 in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.

    This passage is echoed in

    1 Peter 3: 3-4 Do not let your adornment be merely outward–arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel– 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

    Titus 2:3-5 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things– 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

    Examining these passages we will take the other responsibilities of the women in the church and family one at a time.


    The First Responsibility of Wife and Woman:

    It is how a woman is to reflect her inner beauty, in other words Christ in her, in such a way that it overshadows fine apparel, arranging of the hair, or the wearing of jewelry, in the end she must reflect the holiness and the purity of God. This for many Christian women and many churches is not important any longer. However, for God it is very important.

    Many women and many pastors teach that it is not the apparel or the jewelry or the make-up that demonstrates if a person is spiritual or not and so the emphasis upon these things, the wearing or not of these are not necessary to demonstrate true spirituality. The word of God and, therefore, even I am not in agreement about this. How a woman dresses instead is a barometer of her inner spiritual condition.

    At the times of the Apostles as well as today certain apparel and quantities and types of jewelry and make-up demonstrated two things, the first that often this was the fashion of easy women, in other words prostitutes, or other types of apparel and amounts of jewelry were of women who wanted to be noticed and to attract the attention upon themselves as they were wearing luxurious and provocative apparel. Why would a Christian woman like to dress and look a certain way to put in evidence certain parts of her body and to place them before the eyes of all men and women and especially in the church?

    The word of God says that a Christian woman has to dress modestly and discreetly, she cannot go around dressed as a cover-girl or even worse a woman of the street. TITUS 2:3; 1 TIMOTHY 2 :9. The woman has to have a behavior that is reverent, discreet, chaste. Their behavior cannot reflect the foolish and indecent behavior of the pagan women of the world. The Christian woman has to attract the attention on Christ in her and not upon herself, in any way. There is, in addition, rather above all things, the love and respect she should have for God, for others as well as herself .

    Knowing that man, the male, has the tendency to fall into sexual temptations, even only through the eyes, it is therefore not alright from thebiblical love standpoint that a sister should have toward the brothers, to dress in such a way to facilitate their fall into sexual sin.

    See what it says in MATTHEW 5:27-28. In addition ,it is not a demonstration of respect toward themselves to be dressed in such a way, instead of reflecting the image of Christ, they reflect the image of a pagan woman even worse, of a prostitute.

    Many women and false teachers and pastors who err say: “Well you know, in Christ we have the liberty to dress how we want and wear what we want, this does not at all determine our walk with Him”. This kind of philosophy is erroneous and diabolical. They excuse their behavior by quoting the Scripture of 1 Corinthians 6:12 All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

    So they take this out of context, saying all things are lawful in regard to eating, wearing of clothing etc. They confirm it also with another Scripture taken out of context that states Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 2 Cor 3:17

    Doing this they forget two essential truths of Scripture. The first, you cannot take verses of Scripture out of context, and on top of it create a doctrine or an ideology. The second, when we quote a verse such has to be in accord with what the rest of Scripture teaches.

    So considering the subject of apparel and adornment and many other things for which they use these verses as justification, we immediately see in the light of context and Scripture that their teachings on these arguments are completely false.

    Scripture itself in 1 CORINTHIANS 6:12 does say that all things are lawful (those things that do not violate God’s law) but it also says not all is helpful, all is lawful but we cannot become the slave of any. How many women are slaves to their wardrobe, to fashion, to designer clothing, to make-up and cosmetics even to plastic surgery? Many!

    The worse thing is to dress in a sensual and sexy fashion, literally being indecently exposed, placing one’s body on display even if, and I mean even if, although it is not sin to dress in such a way, it would be sin to cause another Christian to stumble into sin, Scripture is clear on this subject.

    Romans 14:21 It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak.

    1 Corinthians 8:9 But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.

    Galatians 5:13-15 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

    1 Peter 2:16 as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice, but as bond servants of God.

    Let’s remember that, yes, every one of us is responsible for their own actions and sins. This means that if a man has immoral desires in his heart he will have them no matter how a woman is dressed. However, we cannot use this excuse to allow others to do what they want, as we have read we are all responsible toward our brothers and sisters not to make them stumble and sin in any way. If we are responsible to have scandalized a brother or a sister in any way, this including the type of apparel or the lack thereof, we are in a very serious sinful position before God. After all Jesus has such described the consequences of the sinners who cause such offenses, so we know that this is unacceptable and sinful behavior in the church.

    Matthew 18:6-8 “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. 7 Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!

    A woman instead should demonstrate her spiritual qualities and display Jesus in her, not her body, clothing or outward adornment, that is what God wants.

    What is important is that woman be clothed with Christ and be modest. God desires that these qualities be evident in her not the exterior ones. The Bible instructs us regarding vanity and the utter uselessness for God regarding the outward appearance in comparison with the spiritual person that has to be present in the heart of a godly woman and all believers for that matter.

    Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

    1 Timothy 2:9-10 in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.

    1 Peter 3:3-4 Do not let your adornment be merely outward–arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel– 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

    Titus 2:3-5 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things– 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

     

    The Second Responsibility of the Woman-Wife: Once again part of the woman’s godly behavior is this

     

    1 Timothy 2:11-12 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. 12 And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.

    We have explained before what it means for the woman-wife to have a submissive spirit and her submission to her husband, we do not want to make this subject seem as the only thing to talk about. However, unfortunately even this subject is very controversial in the church today. The reason really is that the church has conformed herself to society and the philosophies of this world which have become part of the church, so that it is obvious that the average Christian woman, the wife, finds herself opposing and compromising such doctrines. They are called antiquated and archaic, and we hear the same old mantra and excuse that times have changed, the woman is emancipated and has to be treated with exact equality as the man. Does Scripture teach this?

    Personally, I am in agreement about one thing, in other words, as far as the dignity of the person and individual human basic rights there is certainly equality, but as far as specific roles at least in the church and the Christian family the woman has a role of submission to man’s authority, but certainly not as far as the importance of the person before God.

    As we said several times and its the theme of this website, the church has to be under the complete authority of God’s word, exclusively God’s word, and so even the individuals who profess to be born-again believers have to be obedient to the word of God.

    It does not matter if the cultures change, God and His word do not. God does not change ideologies, and He does not conform to the cultural and societal changes that may occur. It is we who have to be conformed to and transformed by the word of God and by that only, we must conform to the image of Christ and transform our minds into Christ’s mind.

    Jesus said in Luke 21:33 Heaven and earth shall pass away but my words shall never pass away.

    Let’s remember what we learned in the beginning, our spiritual duty is to renew and transform our human mind in Christ’s mind through His word, and only the knowledge of His word is that which will set us free and will allow us to know the truth and that which will sanctify us.

    After having cleared these things we must continue to apply God’s word to our life and to this study.

    The Apostle Paul through his spiritual and apostolic authority received by God, teaches us that in the church there are roles to observe and there are precise pastoral instructions, and I specify, pastoral not cultural. In all churches, Corinth as well as Ephesus, these directives are clarified by Paul. Without a doubt, it is evident that it is important that in ecclesiastical and pastoral instructions we find these commandments to observe.

    Let’s observe and examine this passage and let’s compare it with other passages that are its parallels.

    1 Timothy 2:11-12 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. 12 And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.

    Paul is saying that the woman must learn in silence, what does this mean? Does it mean that the woman can never speak in the assembly? No, this cannot be, as we see in 1 Corinthians 11 Paul referring to the doctrine of the veil says that the woman can pray or prophesy if she wore a veil. Paul here instead is referring to learning in silence with all submission, this means without being opinionated, boisterous or contentious, in other words in silence when it comes to being taught, respecting the role and the authority under which she is placed, the pastor, the teacher, the elder, the prophet, the Apostle in their case and also the husband. It is not, therefore, permitted to teach and to exercise any type of authority over a man. It is not that a woman cannot ask questions, just not publicly, she can ask either teacher or husband in private. In fact, Paul says that if a woman has questions, she must keep quiet in the church and ask her husband at home.

    1 Corinthians 14:34-35 Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. 35 And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church.

    So when they say that this commandment was valid only for the Corinthian church because it was regarding the Greek culture, because in that culture it was shameful for a woman to speak in public, then if it is such, why is it that Paul gives these directives also to Timothy who was pastor in Ephesus? Ephesus is in Asia minor and not in Greece. Also, it is clear that Paul is not speaking about culture but is speaking universally to all the church, as in 1 Corinthians 14:33 he said For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.

    Also he mentions that these commandments are given in the law, that is the law of God not the law of culture, so they are valid for all the church for all ages. These are the evidence that Paul is not at all speaking about cultural issues rather God’s will for the church.

    The woman-wife, therefore, must learn in silence and have an attitude of submission without making polemic and not being contentious. Even if she does not agree on something, she is to reverently submit and privately seek explanations, either form her husband or from a pastor, elder, or teacher of the church.

    The woman cannot retain a position of spiritual authority and cannot teach in the church, she must throughout maintain an attitude of submission, humility, order and silence, why? Because it is God’s will. That the spiritual authority by role is given only to males is confirmed in Scripture. For example, in 1 Timothy, as Paul gives the qualifications to be pastors, elders and deacons in the church. These three offices or roles of spiritual authority are conferred to men. The word used in 1 TIMOTHY 3:1 if one desires is not directly referred to the word used for man as found in 1 TIMOTHY 2:12 but in the Greek it is andròs rather that, the one who desires this position or office, in other words the pastor, the elder or the deacon have to be the husband in other words the word àndra that comes from the word andròs this is evidence that these positions are to be occupied by males, men and not women, females.

    In fact, in no case in the history of the church until the 1900 we find women that hold positions of leadership and authority in the church.

    So the behavior of the woman in the church and family is that which teaches the word of God

    1 Corinthians 14:33-37 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. 34 Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. 35 And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church. 36 Or did the word of God come originally from you? Or was it you only that it reached? 37 If anyone thinks himself to be a prophet or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things which I write to you are the commandments of the Lord.

    This passage is too important to be examined exclusively because of verse 35, in fact to better comprehend verse 35 we must expose several other things about this passage, important issues that Paul uses to make us understand the principle and commandment.

    So as we did briefly mention before, verse 33 is the fact that the behavior that Paul is describing is the one that needs to be maintained in all church meetings, so he says as in all the churches of the saints. Paul eliminates thus the erroneous interpretation that many use saying that these things were cultural and strictly for the Corinthian church. Instead Paul extends these commandments to all the churches of the saints, this has to include today’s church. It is a commandment of God and he reiterates this in verse 34 as the law also says as well as in verse 37 If anyone thinks himself to be a prophet or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things which I write to you are the commandments of the Lord.

    So if these are commandments they transcend time and culture and they must be obeyed even today. Having established this we can then tackle this issue of silence and submission verses 34-35 with the proper comprehension that these ordinances given by Paul are universal and they are commandments of God.

    It is obvious that the woman is not commanded to be quiet in the family, but she is commanded to have a submissive behavior, a peaceful and gentle spirit. The woman should have, and I mean SHOULD have, the tendency to remain quiet in many occasions, perhaps more than the tendency to answer or talk, especially when she does so in a disrespectful, arrogant or contentious way with her husband.

    Our spirit and our behavior has to respect the range or the role in which God has placed us. The distinctions in nature as well as in the spiritual order of things have to be observed. Those who God, not man, has placed under authority and submission to others should never attempt to become independent and to place themselves on a level or role not designed for them, nor to usurp authority, nor to assume superiority.

    If the woman has been placed under submission to certain male spiritual authorities, she has to align herself to the will of God for her life. To obey God’s commandments and His will should not be a burdensome thing 1 JOHN 5:2-3, even if sadly it seems that for many it is a burdensome thing.

    Even if obviously each of us can be and should be facilitated by their respective partners to obey their own spiritual responsibilities, unfortunately it is not what usually occurs. However, it is not what we do or do not do for each other that eliminates our personal responsibilities before God. Scripture confirms this. Let’s take for example a famous passage that everybody uses, even ourselves.

    Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

    In this passage the word of God is specific, it does not say to the wives to submit to their husbands in the measure with which the husbands love them. The word commands the wife to be submissive to their husbands as to the Lord. When are we to submit to the Lord only when He does what we want or gives what we want, or only when we feel like it or we are happy in life? No! All the time.

    That the Lord has loved the church and loves the church perfectly is without a doubt, but the Lord is the Lord. In fact, the wives are called to always submit to their husbands and to be obedient to them if the husband’s decisions or requests obviously do not violate the word of God. This passage however does not command the wives to be submissive only in the measure with which the husband loves them, to say this is really in violation of Scripture that commands women to be submissive even to husbands who are not observing God’s word or even who are unbelieving husbands.

    1 Peter 3:1-6 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward–arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel– 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

    Both passages Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3 render obvious that the Lord gives orders regarding personal spiritual responsibilities of each partner. Both partners have to obey and are individually responsible to obey their own Scriptural responsibilities even if the other is personally in rebellion to the word of God.

    Therefore, the wife is never, and I mean never, exempt to be submitted to her husband and to respect him even if her husband fails to love her as Christ loves the church; and the husband is never exempt to love his wife as Christ loves the church even if she is rebellious and does not respect him.

    It’s obvious that if both attempt to obey their respective responsibilities it will then be easier for both to obey the word of God than if both or even one is in rebellion to the word of God.

    The attitude and behavior that Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 11, 1 Corinthians 14, 1 Timothy 2 and Titus 2 that we have been examining is in large what Peter speaks of in 1 Peter 3. This behavior of the woman and wife is of great importance to God and a great responsibility of the woman for the good and health of both family and church.

    We must be very careful about a very, very dangerous spirit that prevails when there is rebellion and disobedience on part of the woman. This spirit is the spirit of Jezebel, today known as a feminist spirit, it’s the same thing. Unfortunately, today this spirit pervades many families and churches and it is extremely dangerous because it defiles everything it touches. This is why there isa very stern warning to the church on part of the Lord Jesus in

    Revelation 2:19-21 Nevertheless I have a few things against you, because you allow that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, to teach and seduce My servants to commit sexual immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols.

    Pay attention, because what activated Jezebel in this church as well as in today’s church is a demonic spirit, and it is the same that has fueled the feminist movement that brought the actual reversal of the roles designed by God for society, family and church.

    Let’s examine some important things the Lord describes, the first one is that the church allows Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess to teach. This is exactly what Paul under the inspiration and authority of the Holy Spirit had prohibited a woman to do, see 1 TIMOTHY 2:11-12. The consequences are devastating, she seduced and taught to commit sexual immorality and to be idolatrous.

    We must understand this concept and we must then be careful in regard to what the Lord warns us against in these two chapters of Revelation; in other words, the extreme spiritual condition of the individual churches would bring them to have extreme behaviors contrary to God’s will.

    For instance, the church of Ephesus REVELATION 2:1-6, where zeal, service and doctrine prevailed, was lacking love, the church of Thyatira instead where love, faith and patience prevailed REVELATION 2:19, is also true, that where these only prevail and doctrine is neglected there are many errors committed that in the end bring great spiritual problems that lead to discipline and suffering in that church, this is because of the doctrinal errors that are practiced in the name of love and faith. The prevalent error in many churches today, perhaps the majority is to neglect the true Apostolic doctrines in the name of love and to tolerate and allow doctrinal errors to prevail, in this case as in many today as well, to allow a woman to teach and to retain a position of authority in the church.

    Permitting women to teach will lead the church some how to be seduced and to commit spiritual adultery and idolatry. We must be very aware of the danger when we hear people claim that in the church all we need is love and that doctrine and Theology are less important or not important at all. In the end they say God only wants us to love each other. Yes, true, God wants us to love each other, but how? Certainly not by neglecting the truth of His word. 1 Corinthians 13:6 (Agape love) does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

    Also let’s understand well what kind of love we must have Philippians 1:9-11 And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, 10 that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, 11 being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

    As Paul states, our love must grow in knowledge and discernment, these things are attainable only through the doctrine of the word of God.

    That is why Paul describes that the balance of these two elements is necessary to have a spiritually healthy and mature church, he does so in

    Ephesians 4:11-16 And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13 till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head–Christ– 16 from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

    In the Apostolic church age no woman ever retained positions of authority in the church, so then the pastors, teachers etc. mentioned are men not women, that are given to the church by God. These men edify the church to bring the believers to the measure of the stature of Christ so that all may come to the unity of faith and the proper knowledge of Christ without being tossed to and fro carried about by every wind of false doctrine through the trickery of men and their deceitful planning, to be led into error. But instead speaking the truth in love, here is the crucial point of love, love and truth, as the Spirit and truth, the love grows in knowledge and discernment and truth.

    Love and sound doctrine are forever tied together and they must remain such. To sow error is not love, therefore, if we are led by love for others there has to be a continuous searching of truth even above our own opinions, our prejudices and preconceived doctrinal notions or indoctrination.

    So after this needed parenthesis that helps us to understand better the will of God in regard to women and positions or roles of authority in the church, let’s continue to speak about the responsibilities of the wives in the family.

    Until now we have talked about the responsibilities of the wife in placing the priority into developing the inner woman of God, the person of her heart, Christ in her, through the grace of God to develop a spirit of submission, obedience, gentleness, uncorrupted purity, peaceful spirit and chaste conduct. All these qualifications of a godly woman are found in 1 PETER 3:1-6 and all the other confirmed passages we have seen and that we will see.

    We have spoken of the importance of the modesty and propriety of the female apparel that is part of being true women of God and that do not reflect the world and all that is wicked and perverse. We touched upon the importance of the godly woman’s responsibility to develop a spirit that respects her spiritual role and how important it is for the woman not to have a rebellious and contentious spirit, rather she become respectful and submissive to the spiritual authorities of her husband and of the church.


    The Third Responsibility of the Woman- Wife: Respect their Husbands


    Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

    Exclusively, by human endeavor and human nature it is impossible for a man to love his wife as Christ loves the church as well as it is impossible for a woman to respect her own husband. However, it becomes possible with the help of the Holy Spirit. To do so, in other words to have the Holy Spirit’s help, one needs to first of all submit to God, then one to another. It’s for this very reason that the word of God says this in

    Ephesians 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.

    So for this very reason a spiritual characteristic that a woman must have toward her husband is the same attitude of reverence she has for God. The word used in the Greek for respect is fobeètai derived from the word phobeo that is the word from which originates the word phobia which is a synonym for the word fear, fobeètai is reverential fear.

    The significance of the word respect in our language is: to have a sentiment of reverence, attitude of esteem and reverence toward a person or whatever or whoever we retain superior or particularly worthy; obsequious submission toward a principle, institution or authority ; sentiment of regard and attention toward others that abstains from causing insult and offense or abstains from treating rudely or in an inadequate way.

    I ask of you wives, women is this your attitude and conduct toward your husbands and toward the spiritual male authorities of the church? It should be, if it is not you are in violation of Scripture. You will say to me, You do not know my husband, he is rude, he does not love me as Christ loves the church, why should I respect him?” Simple, because the word of God commands you to do it regardless of how he treats you. This is what God expects of you.

    1 Peter 3:1-2 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

    Once again, here we see the word fear at the end of verse 2 it is again used not to encourage women to be fearful or to fear, that would be in violation of the Scripture such as it states in 2 TIMOTHY 1:7 where it states that the spirit of fear is not from God. In the light of the context of 1 Peter 3 as well as Ephesians 5:33, it is obvious that we speak of reverential fear, described as respect. Practically we could read chaste conduct accompanied with respect. It also speaks about treating this way and being submissive to husbands who do not obey God’s word. So again the disobedience of the husband has nothing at all to do with how a woman is to treat him. In fact, the word of God is specific in letting us know that we do not treat with respect only people who are nice to us, rather we are to treat with respect also them who are harsh and arrogant toward us as difficult as it may seem 1 PETER 2:18-19.

    The Scriptural truth of understanding the difference between what God wants in regard to the word fear used for respect and the word fear as for terror or fear in the true sense of the word, fearing danger or anything that may be harmful is found in 1 Peter 3 as well. As we said God has not gien us a spirit of fear, so the statement in 1 Peter 3:5-6 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

    There needs to be no fear of terror in doing good. The fear that is mentioned here is the fear that God does not want women to have. You do not need to fear to do good, if indeed you are submissive you respect your husband as to consider him your lord, if you do him good, you are not to be afraid of any terror. As Peter said in verse 1 with this behavior you will win them over even if they are disobedient to God. In fact, it is only this way you will win them over,coupled with prayer. That is why Peter in the end specifies that if you do all this, if you obey God’s instructions your prayers will not be hindered, if you do not they will be. So wife, if your husband is disobedient to the word, it is pointless to pray for him if you are not submissive to him and if you do not respect him and display the conduct here described. Rather if you do obey God’s word then your prayers will be answered and by your conduct alone without a word you will win him over.

    The Fourth Responsibility: Teaching

    When, How and Where is it Possible for a Woman or a Wife to Teach and in what Way?

    We had previously seen in our study that the woman-wife could teach certain things in certain situations to certain persons. Certainly there are limitations, however, women can teach. In fact, they must teach, it is a responsibility given them by God. Let’s see together to whom, when and what they can teach.

    In regard to this the first passage we will examine is

    Titus 2:3-5 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

    The older women, older in the faith, can teach. They must teach the young women certain things, by example first of all, example of their life and such is described how it has to be right in this passage. They must be reverent, in other words respectful, they must not be gossipers, as such is a prohibited behavior that is part of an overall conduct, the word of God describes this sinful conduct in

    1 Timothy 5:13-14 And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not. 14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

    In this particular context Paul is speaking about younger widows. However, the principles and the commandments here are valid for all women, single or married or widows. We speak, in fact, specifically of young women, susceptible into falling in this very sinful conduct, especially if they are not taught and admonished properly by the older women of the church. This conduct is prohibited in the church.

    Older women, have to be teachers as the word says, teachers of good things, to teach the younger women how you love and respect the husband, how you love and train your children, how to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their husbands, so that the word of God is not maligned and blasphemed as, unfortunately, it is in many cases today exactly because there is no such kind of training in the church.

    The older women have to teach the younger women to be discreet, chaste, this means to be taught to be sexually pure, pure in tongue and conduct, this also is in context with the apparel of which we had spoken before, modest not provocative and expensive.

    The older women must teach the young how to be good homemakers, as it states also in 1 Timothy 5:14 where it says to know how to manage the house, bear children, teach them how to be a good Christian wife and mother, most likely how to be able to do work at home, as it would be good today as well, so that children and husband would not be neglected, nor their own spiritual life.

    The older women must teach the young what it means to be good and how to submit and be obedient to their own husbands. Unfortunately, the church, women in the church, have stopped being teachers of these virtues, they themselves are compromised with the ways of the world and the culture in which they live.

    The kind of teaching the older women have to give is more practical than theological or biblical, we must say however that all teaching of biblical nature must be didactic as well as practical, we are all called to learn the word of God and practice it, not hear it only. It is clear, however, that the teaching ministry of the women in the church is particular and unique and is not to be confused with doctrinal teaching, for this the woman has no authority at all in the church to do it. The doctrinal aspect of teaching in the church on all subjects has to be strictly held by men, chosen by God, nevertheless men.

    In the family, however, the woman that has children has a secondary responsibility and primary in some situations (as we mentioned if lacking a husband for Scriptural valid reasons, otherwise she should marry or re-marry especially if she has children), this responsibility is to inculcate in her children the principles and commandments of the word of God.

    We must here add again a parenthesis that is of fundamental importance, what a woman is not called to do ever. Unfortunately, this situation is a serious mistake many make and that many not only tolerate in the church but is actually considered a good thing. IT IS NOT!

    It is enormously important to understand that under NO circumstance, NEVER a wife must assume the role of biblical teacher or try to teach doctrine to her husband, even if for some reason she is more knowledgeable in the word of God than he. The wife’s role is to encourage the husband and to pray for him that he might better his knowledge of God’s word, remembering Peter’s exhortation in 1 PETER 3:1-6, where he states that it is without words, but by conduct, a wife wins her husband, not being his doctrinal teacher. It is the husband’s personal spiritual responsibility become prepared and knowledgeable in the word of God, so much so to become the teacher in his household. It is the responsibility of the church to make disciples, therefore to counsel and train the husbands to become the pastors and teachers of their families. Too many problems of spiritual role and authority in the family contribute also to too many doctrinal errors, confusion and rebellion when the wife assumes the role of teacher and teaches the word of God to the husband, see 1 TIMOTHY 2:11-12 for how it violates God’s word. In addition, most of the time the roles remain in that order and never change in the order they should be. When the wife becomes the teacher of the husband, the husband almost always remains passive, never assumes the role of responsibility and authority and abdicates it to the wife. This normally invites a spirit of rebellion to God’s word and order, a manipulation known as the spirit of Jezebel, a very dangerous thing to have in the family and even more dangerous and destructive when it rules the church REVELATION 2:20.

    Therefore, even if the primary spiritual responsibility to teach the word of God in the family is of the husband, nevertheless she has the spiritual authority and duty to teach her children, considering that in many cases, perhaps not so true anymore these days. However, the woman spends, or at least should spend, the majority of her time at home with her children, she therefore needs to be, has to be, the teacher as well. This is confirmed by Scripture.

    Proverbs 1:8-9 My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; 9 For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck.

    Proverbs 6:20 My son, keep your father’s command, And do not forsake the law of your mother.

    Proverbs 31:1 The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him:

    These Scriptures indicate the responsibility that the mother has in the family, it does not have to be above nor instead of the father’s teaching but it has to be present as well, it’s important that the husband teach and train and the wife does with the same teaching and same method.

    In other words things need to be taught to the children and they need to be trained by both parents with the same doctrine and the same method, there has to be agreement and continuity in what is taught to the children. The husband and wife HAVE TO BE ONE in the spiritual training, education and correction of their children. There cannot be two disagreeing instructions, corrections or punishment given to the children by their parents. This is a NO NO! A very damaging thing.

    Here is a practical example, the father punishes the child and prohibits him to go to his friend’s house. When the decision is made it should never be rescinded by the other parent. In this case, if the mother decides later to allow the child to go to his friend’s in spite of what the father said, first of all we have a rebellion situation, rebellion to the spiritual authority of the husband and father. When this authority is undermined it greatly damages the spiritual growth and the psychological health of the children. It’s open sin.

    The two, husband and wife, must always find themselves in agreement and be of one mind. If they are not, let’s not forget that even after a discussion and an exchange of opinion and reason, if there is not an agreement and the husband remains with his original decision,that decision MUST be respected and it prevails. The wife, in this case, in no way must cause division and discordance and act disobediently toward her husband, this is, if the decisions of the husband are obviously not contrary to the word of God.

    This kind of behavioris also disrespectful toward the husband and before the children are a very bad example, an example of rebellion that the children learn and use to manipulate their relationship with their parents. This, unfortunately, is something that happens too much in Christian families and which should never occur.

    Concluding the responsibilities of the wife and mother and before we enter into the spiritual education and the Biblical correction of the children, let’s look at the woman described in Proverbs 31. This woman described has all the characteristics and qualities a godly wife and mother should have, how God desires a woman to be. After all, these qualities are those which we have studied so far.

    Proverbs 31:10-31 Who can find a virtuous wife?For her worth is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;So he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax,And willingly works with her hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships,She brings her food from afar. 15 She also rises while it is yet night,And provides food for her household,And a portion for her maidservants. 16 She considers a field and buys it;From her profits she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength,And strengthens her arms. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,And her lamp does not go out by night. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,And her hand holds the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor,Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,For all her household is clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes tapestry for herself;Her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates,When he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them,And supplies sashes for the merchants. 25 Strength and honor are her clothing;She shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,And on her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She watches over the ways of her household,And does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;Her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many daughters have done well,But you excel them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,And let her own works praise her in the gates.

    Verse 10 describes a woman with a strong character and a virtuous wife. To be strong and virtuous are two things that are intertwined together, to have virtues means in fact : to have a moral disposition that induces constantly to seek good regardless of the rewards or the punishments; to have every good quality or asset in her character, courage and chastity. This is what it means to have a strong character, a character that does not compromise with evil and with sin. A strong character in spite of how many think does not mean to be contentious, strong-willed, stubborn and obstinate. We all know people who blame their strong wills, their polemic spirit, their contentious attitude their rebellion and stubbornness calling these qualities strong character, that is just plain sinful nature, flesh, rebellion ad disobedience. Instead, the kind of character described in verse 10 is more precious than any earthly and material wealth one can have.

    Verse 11 A man knowing he has such a wife, his heart safely trust her. This character and her virtues render her trustworthy and faithful.

    Verse 12 A godly wife is a woman who always does her husband good and not evil, a woman who always finds ways to honor her husband.

    Verses 13-19 A godly wife and mother is a woman who knows how to work well remaining at home, she is wise, she knows well the value of things, of finances,she has a great deal of common sense and good sense, she know how to manage well the household and is an expert on how to make the finances she is entrusted with bring forth fruit. She is an excellent home manager.

    Verse 20 A godly woman is always a generous woman, she is merciful and compassionate. She is always abounding in works of mercy and goodness.

    Verses 21-25 She knows how to provide well for all that the family needs even regarding the quality of that which she buys and even produces and sells herself. (Women must learn how to do specific work at home, a woman that knows how to sew can produce the apparel for the family and work for others at home, even though this seems to be passe today, unfortunately.)

    Verse 26 The godly woman when she speaks, she speaks with wisdom, with knowledge and discernment of the word of God and she is always speaking the word of God. In her home she must teach her children, in a special way her daughters teaching them and training them how to become true women of God.

    Verse 27 Together with the husband and father the wife and mother is a guardian of the family e and she keeps watch over the spiritual and physical condition of her family. The wife and mother is as a sentinel, in prayer and discernment. She is a woman that can prevent problems before they occur as she sees ahead with God’s help and the counsel of God’s word, she never becomes frightened and anxious and is able to protect her family containing and defusing dangers and deceptions. She is a woman that is never lazy, a gossip or indiscreet.

    Verse 28 She has earned through her conduct and virtues the respect, the blessings and the honor of her children and of her husband, but above all she is a God pleaser, she fears the Lord. (Wives, women if you desire respect, blessing and honor from your husband and children, it helps being this way.)

    Verses 29-31 The woman of God does not chase after vanity, she is not vain, she does not concentrate without neglecting her outward beauty but mostly she is devoted to God and she fears the Lord, she is a woman that LIVES the word of God, doesn’t preach it she LIVES IT. While she does not neglect her person and outward appearance she is not a slave to it. Her physical beauty overshadowed or at least should be, by her inner beauty, beauty that is a reflection of Jesus in her. A woman that is a reflection of Jesus will be the most beautiful.